he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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