His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
