Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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