I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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