There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
