She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize