it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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