New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my being single is dangerous.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
