wrigley field is MILF paradise
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She's the barista slut.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
