wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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