STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My feet surprised me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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