yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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