WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
