I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
