after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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