he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
