Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
