Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
