he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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