Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
