what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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