In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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