I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
That accounts for only three of the penises
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
