Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
