"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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