i just google imaged poop.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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