Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
