guys are not supposed to queef...right?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
