And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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