You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
sick fucks of a feather flock together
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Let's get the cat blown out
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
