So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
