the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
