Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
