i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
