there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
