Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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