I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
it hurts more in the daytime
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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