u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize