That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
