I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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