scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
