She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
