You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
