Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
