last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
