Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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