I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
