ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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