You can't special order awesome
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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