she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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