may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
