East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
