Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
