in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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