Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
