Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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