Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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