I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Small penises have feelings too.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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