Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
