apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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