Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
