He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
