Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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