Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
