She said her name was "party"
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
