i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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