your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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