What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
