We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
