Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
