Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
