if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just blew my weed a kiss
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
