she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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