He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
