i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize